I love reading about what people have to say on hardships and how they overcome them, and I feel sympathy for someone who's friend or relative has been hurt, but is now fine. I like to see how people deal with things. I like to see how people live their lives, how they view the world and other people.
I love creativity; poems that have a deep meaning, but it isn't obvious. A story about something deep and thoughtful that has been constructed over a long time, with various speculations hidden within it somewhere.
However. Most of what I've seen starts off nice and unambiguous. Then the God stuff starts and I throw a hissy fit. Yes, you believe in God, okay that's cool. I know loads of Christians -most of them I never knew they were until I asked.
But when someone starts saying; "Oh my daughter was in a car crash, now she is fit and healthy, God is good! He is always compassionate and forgiving!"
My auntie died from cancer. God is good, isn't he? In fact, my Nan died of cancer. Praise the Lord! I almost died as a baby due to a hole in my heart. Praise the Lord for wanting me to die before my life even began, oh gracious and compassionate lover of man! He loves life and hates murder!
As you may have guessed, I do not have a nice relationship with God. I don't believe in him. I don't believe in Satan. I don't believe in gods -quite ironic since I write about gods. I did. When I did, my life was awful and full of nightmarish things I'd rather not go into. I was dependent and had a personality like a blank canvas. Then, suddenly, when I realized there was no one out there with divine powers who loved me, I decided that I didn't believe, and became atheist. My life suddenly got a lot better. I drove the evil out of my home, perused my love of writing, games, books and opened my eyes a little more, without fear of God saying; "It is a sin to read any book but the Bible, play violent video games or ponder over false idols. I want your attention 100% because I'm a narcissist!".
The world is too complex for something to have created it.
So what about cause and effect, if God can have no maker than the Universe can have no maker. Something doesn't have to be thought about to exist. His Dark Materials was written without a plot, without characters, without direction. I could walk down a street and randomly pick up a bin and throw the contents onto the ground and say it's artwork. It just happened because I suddenly decided it was a good idea. I didn't think, I didn't design.
I'm not trying to break anybody's faith, I just get sick and tired of people say 'God is good' because he saved your friend or mother or brother or whatever. I don't care if it's all 'a test'. If God loved us so much, why aren't we born and raised in Heaven so that no one can deny his existence and the Compassionate God who hates people going to Hell (but still puts people there) wants to test us, he doesn't have to, it doesn't make sense no matter how you look at it. If we lived among God then we would have no reason to deny his existence, and all this Hell business and evil and suffering wouldn't matter.
Kind of like how good can exist without evil. It doesn't require evil for you to decided to give someone some money or invite them over for tea or give them a lift somewhere, it's just a bit of manners and open eyes.
God annoys me because he has favourites. Because people think he is always good when, obviously, he is not. The afterlife business is just a con really. If God cannot stand the creatures he made in his images, he must be really depressed. The idea of an afterlife takes meaning away from the suffering in our lives because it is just a test; it doesn't mean anything, it shouldn't change us because it won't have any long standing effect.
Who would want to live forever anyway? It would get so boring.
If you still think I'm trying to break your faith, then you're trying to break my un-faith, I'm doing the same as you do, only with the idea that God doesn't exist so... fits are hypocrisy. I hate hypocrites.
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